On Children and Religion

Every person ever born on this planet was born an atheist. Without exception. Religion is a learned belief. Yet very few people end up being atheists. And even less people are atheists as a child. So what happens between birth and adulthood? What happens is children are indoctrinated at an early age, and by the time they are allowed to question their religion, they are often in too deep to question it.

So I pose the question: should children be exposed to religion at an age where they can’t make an educated decision of their own?

Is it a parents job to decide what faith their child will spend the rest of their life subscribing to? While it might be easy to answer yes or no to these questions, they are far too complex questions to answer with one word.

When I was growing up, I went to Sunday School every week, and as a family we went to church every week. I was introduced to religion before I was old enough to understand what I was being taught. Granted, at no time did I become an extremely religious person, but nevertheless, I was a Christian. We stopped going to church not long after I was confirmed, due to personal differences between my parents and that particular church. I’ve only been back into churches for weddings and baptisms since then.

What made me think about this question is that I have a four-year old niece and two-year old nephew. Their parents started taking them to church, and my niece learns about Jesus in her pre-school class. As an uncle, I understand that my opinion should mean nothing in how they raise their child in terms of religion. But children in general is a fair topic. Should they be brought into the religious world at such a young age that they are likely to be forever a member of whatever church they attended first?

There are many religions in the world. Not a single one is hereditary. No religion is a race. Being the child of a denomination does not make you that denomination. There is no religion in DNA. So why must children be subjected to their parents religious beliefs?

I am willing to concede that there are valuable lessons to be learned from Sunday school/catechism/church. The lessons taught in religion are not what I have a problem with. But there are other ways to teach such lessons. Morality is a societal issue. It doesn’t have to come from religion. Yet people insist on having religion teach their children morals. I am a firm believer that this is a parent’s job.

There are two sides to this argument. Many people support the idea of teaching children religion, then allowing them to make a decision about their faith later in life. Others think it’s wrong to make your child believe something before they are old enough to make that decision for themselves.

I suspect it is very difficult for someone to leave a faith that they were raised in. It is a huge life decision to abandon a system you studied for more than a decade. I imagine most atheists are people that had some type of religious upbringing, then arrived at their final conclusion on their own. It’s not an easy thing to do. Not because of the difficulty in reaching a conclusion, but the difficulty in accepting the fact that everything you used to believe is wrong. You feel as if you’ve wasted years of your life.

But allowing children to make a decision at the right age could allow for more natural decisions regarding faith and denomination. I understand that the theory I have is extremely difficult to put into practice.

Parent are religious. They have every right to be religious and every right to attend church. I can’t expect them to leave their children behind. I am by no means suggesting that children shouldn’t be allowed to attend church. But I am suggesting that parents think twice before enrolling their children in a Sunday school class or are taught religion at a young age.

In a perfect world, I’d like to see a time when children are raised with no religion forced upon them until they are old enough to see things objectively. Hearing a three-year old sing “Jesus Loves Me” is cute, but to me, an atheist, disturbing. I know that that child has no chance of being anything but religious, with no say in the decision making process.

All I am saying is that I would like to see children have a chance to make their own decisions later in life about their faith. That doesn’t mean shielding them from all religion in their early years. But it means not indoctrinating them before they know what’s happening.

Children need a certain amount of exposure to religion. All people should have a general understanding of how churches operate and what all of the major religions believe and offer. Without this basic information, it is impossible to make a decision about your faith.

My suggestion is this: If you are religious parents, feel free to bring your children to church with you. Let them listen to the sermons, and follow the hymns with you. But when it comes time for them to question their faith, let them. There is a huge difference between exposing children to religion and forcing religion upon children.

I am completely against Sunday school for anyone under an age where they understand where they are, and against sending kids to private Catholic/religious schools at any age. With all due respect to the teachers at these schools, children need a proper education with no agenda and fully certified instructors. That is something you don’t get at Catholic schools. They generally have less requirements to be a teacher and their curriculum is not as complete as other schools.

My general rule of thumb would be to never let someone else teach your child about religion until they are at least six or seven years old. While their minds are still that malleable, leave religion out of everything. You will not hurt your child by avoiding religion any more than you could by forcing it. Teaching them morals independent of religion should be the priority at this age.

I am in no way an expert on parenting or raising children in any way. I am merely expressing my opinions based on personal experiences. I envision a world with less religion, and for that I won’t apologize. To me, the only way to have that happen is to create a world where children stand a chance of questioning religion. And the only way they’ll question religion is if they have any reason to believe there are other options. Raising a child in a religious environment is not conducive to free thinking, and free thought is the goal of any atheist.

Discussion

2 comments for “On Children and Religion”

  1. [...] ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR HOMELAND OF SCIENCE AND SKEPTICISM.  OUR ENEMIES ARE NUMEROUS, AND THEY ARE RECRUITING CHILDREN… EVEN BABIES TO DO THEIR FIGHTING.  WE MUST DEFEAT THEM BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.  SO, WHEN YOU ARE PARACHUTING [...]

    Posted by The 2nd Skeptical Parent Crossing « SCIENCE-BASED PARENTING | November 20, 2008, 6:11 am
  2. Good points. As parents, whether you are a believer or not, it’s your responsibility, not a school or church’s.to teach your children about religion.

    Posted by mathyoo | November 21, 2008, 12:34 am

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